Equipping the Saints for Domination (Again)

Greetings Fellow Blog-readers,

As you may know, LSTC has a long-standing tradition (read: one year strong) of playing like-minded seminaries in the glorious game of American Football. In but a few short days, the LSTC Orange Whips (or Orange Crush...depending on who you ask and what you prefer) will be taking the long trek to the frigid fields of Gettysburg to continue our tradition of domination.

Now, I know what you are thinking: Why? Good question.

Answer: We feel our quest for domination is rooted in the fact that the rigors of seminary life must be expelled every-so-often through a physical outlet, lest we end up like our brother Soren Kierkegaard: tortured and alone. We also like football and running.

I know some of our competitors check this blog frequently (Hi Trinity). Thus, I can't betray any of our secret plays or whatnot (like the "Same Thing Sweep" or the "Palin"). But I do want to let you all know that we have been in training for the past two months, working and reworking our straining muscles to the point of ultimate fatigue. The one exercise that I like the best is the "Chain-pull," where we strap iron safes to iron chains and pull them through the field dogsled style. Some call it pain; we call it dedication.

To end in the words of Saint Paul in his first (and disputably only authored) letter to the Christians at Thessalonica: "Brothers and Sisters, let us strive with one mind to the historic fields of Gettysburg" (edits by Tim Brown). We play on Saturday, November 8th and we hope that you might be able to join us. Bring the kids, bring some food, bring your LSTC gear and cheer!

Well, off to practice again for the third time today.

Pax,

Timothy Brown...
Orange Whip Official Blogger