Leaves change and so do I, I guess. These last few months and weeks I have been thinking more and more about changing to become an MDiv student instead of an M.A. student. Contemplating that change requires many different layers of thought. Is God really calling me to do this? Am I practically able to respond to that call financially, spiritually, emotionally and intellectually? Is my faith a faith that can live through being a pastor? And then, what do I need to change, right now, about myself to start living in a way that would coincide with being a pastor?
My last blog was a bit preachy. I've felt sort of strange about it for a long time, but think that the issue is important enough I wanted to throw it out there. And yet, it occurs to me that maybe this isn't the sort of thing a pastor ought to do. Perhaps a pastor ought to just love his or her neighbor, lead by example and not try to "preach" at people. Maybe it doesn't really work for anyone to "preach" at people.
Anyway, I am pondering all of these things in my heart as I contemplate exactly what is at stake if I choose to follow this new path, exactly what I would be gaining, giving up. Whose path before me is this? Mine? God's?