Outdoor Ministry Ambassadors

It was an incredible summer for those who paved the way in our pilot program of connecting seminarians with outdoor ministry settings. Here are some of their words and photos:

Tom with campers at Lutherdale
Elkhorn, Wisconsin

Tom with campers at Camp Carol Joy Holling

We also had OMAs travel to Sky Ranch, Ewalu, Camp Kirchenwald, Pine Lake, Camp Shalom, Nebraska Lutheran Outdoor Ministries--it was a great summer!

Holly Philips said this:

My week at Sky Ranch was phenomenal. It was a great camp to have vocation conversations. The on-site program director, Andy, gave me 1 1/2 hours of staff meetings a day to talk about vocation, theology and LSTC. It was a gift. I built relationships with the counselors during each day, through hikes, low and high ropes, Bible Studies. I then was able to use those experiences to talk about Christian vocation. Many people were interested in seminary, were surprised by the various programs and were excited to have the opportunity to voice their opinions and questions in group discussion. I followed up with many of them in one on one conversations.

I think this is an important ministry. I think it is vital that our seminary participates and exposes people to camping and youth and family ministry. I would love to be part of continuing to make things like this happen.

Here are a few words from Matt Ley, MDiv:

This summer I worked for LSTC as an Outdoor Ministries Ambassador (OMA) at three different camps in the Midwest during the month of July. At each camp I would arrive on Sunday morning, be greeted, shown around camp, introduced to the people working there at a group meeting and then would instantly be set to work welcoming parents and campers. I would then spend the next five days getting to know the ministry style of each camp, the relationships of the people working at the camp and the rhythm of the week all while trying to figure out how I fit into all of it. My job description was pretty open. Basically I was called on to “do ministry” and to have conversations with staff about vocation and seminary, though none of this was structured. I found ways to do this through the traditional means of leading Bible studies and speaking at campfires but also through washing dishes, weed eating, walking campers to the bathroom, eating meals, working at canteen and various other day-to-day activities. Then each Friday evening, I was invited out to eat with the staff after all the campers had gone home, say my good byes and travel back to Chicago for a 30-hour break. It was the most engaging, exhausting and rewarding ministry I have ever been apart of.

What struck me the most with the whole experience is how much like parish ministry it was. I was an individual with a somewhat ambiguous title (What is an OMA?) that enters a pre-existing community as an outsider who is looking to be not just an insider but a leader and resource within the community. I had to learn the lay of a new geographical location, peoples’ names and roles, the relationships between these people and the way the term “ministry” was understood all within the first 24 hours. During all of this, I had to try and explain my purpose to people who already had preconceived notions of my identity based solely on my title as either an OMA or, more often, as a future pastor. If this doesn’t sound what coming into a new church is like then my first call we be more of a shock then I already assume.
That is why I wish everyone who hopes to work in the church would take advantage of this opportunity. Not only is it a great trial run for future ministry, but many churches see their relationships to a particular camp as a major portion of their youth ministry. So to be able to enter call scenarios with the ability to say you have familiarity with camp ministry will be a big bonus. Also, for those who are nervous about youth ministry what better opportunity will you find to observe youth ministry without having to be in charge. You could probably spend the whole week just attending bible studies, campfires and just walking around without ever having to lead if you really wanted to.

For me though the greatest benefit was getting to engage with the counselors and staff, who are some of the strongest church leaders we have, and to watch them in action. This experience is as close to “cloud of witnesses” and I think one can ever get. It was amazing to see young adults sharing their faith with children and each other day in and day out for peanuts in salary (usual pay works out to about 50¢/hour). After a year of getting burned out and beat up in academic and theological study at seminary, it was a blessing to be bolstered and lifted up by these people. It really put what I am doing at seminary into perspective, which is something I believe all of us need a healthy dose of from time to time.

Internship Sending

Last Wednesday our class, many of us in the "Middler (second year)" class were formally sent to internship. The past two years in seminary has flown by, it is hard to believe that we'll be all sent to different parts of the country and world next year. In fact, out of 51 of us, we're being sent to 17 different states and 4 different countries (U.S., Argentina, Tanzania and Norway). Our class has build strong bonds, and it will be hard to leave one another for the year, but it was a great feeling to make it to this point together.

For me, it was a feeling of both "wow, we made it," and a strong feeling of anticipation, "I can't wait." It still hasn't sunk in for me that I'm going to be going to Argentina. I am very excited about this opportunity to grow in ministry and be transformed by this context. I am excited to put all the course work to practice, for the rubber to hit the road. More to come, I better get back to my final papers...

"COO!"

It’s getting pretty busy around here at LSTC, as we only have two weeks left, and many final papers are already due next week. At this time students’ identity changes from “Tina” to “I am 25 more pages.” No longer do we say “Hello,” but we manage to utter, “two more exegesis papers.” Honestly, I don’t know why I’m typing in my Blog right now, when this could be counting as “one less page” if it was put into a paper. No, it’s not because I’m procrastinating, but rather because I wish to be in open dialogue with all of you. Really.

Anyway, as I’ve been writing my Systematic Theology II paper on various correlations between Christology, Soteriology, Ecclesiology, and Eschatology, in the midst of my inner-theological discourse, I heard cooing. That’s right, cooing. Then came the sound of wings flapping. It turns out it wasn’t angels coming to bring the eschaton (end of the world).

Some of you may recall my Blog in October about the squirrels outside my window. In the winter I changed rooms, and now instead of my bushy-tailed buddies throwing themselves into my window screen, I have the cooing and flapping of the pigeons to keep me company. So far I like them better because they haven’t eaten any of my mom’s cookies like the squirrels did.

Casting Out Fear

As I went for my morning run by the shore of Lake Michigan this morning (I wish I could show you the view of the city as the sun rose) I realized something about myself this year. There has been a common theme throughout my classes that has been fairly constant since the fall semester. It has had to do with fear and its manifestation in our lives. We fear the “other,” we fear God (not in the Martin Luther - we should fear, love, and trust kind of way), we fear our “authentic self.” These theme of fear have woven themselves throughout my learning. If I have learned anything it is that fear is paralyzing. It keeps us from living into the life that is intended for us. As class is soon beginning for the day, and I have a paper to write today, I cannot spend too much time on this topic now, but check back over the next couple days as I reflect on these different fears. I have a hunch that in the end, they won’t be that different.

1 John 4:18

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear…

Conflict

I don't really like conflict, but sometimes, it just comes up. Tonight I was playing a game with some seminarian friends of mine and I started to take some things personally that were happening and I felt attacked and was being competitive. When one of my friends started to take things personally as well, she snapped at me and I snapped at her. I am not sure what will happen because she stormed out and then I did. And we're grown adults! After a while, I felt bad and appologized because what I said had been more ludicrous than what she said and anyway, I shouldn't have said it. But her feelings were hurt and she doesn't want to talk to me. Looking back, the whole thing seems so unnecessary to me. If I had just moved out of my own selfishness in the moment that I snapped at her, I wouldn't be in the situation of having hurt my friend and possibly having permanently damaged the friendship. I think that much of the conflict in the world happens in this same way. We get selfish and we do something stupid without thinking about how our actions affect others, then pride comes in and blocks our ability to limit the damage that's already been done. I don't want discord in the world and yet it is one of those things which I am completely unable to get rid of. We all do stupid things. The most amazing thing is that despite this thickheaded inability to do what's right, even when we know full well what it is that is right, God somehow still values us. Tonight I don't have a whole lot of use for myself, but somehow God still does. How do I know that? I don't really, but I believe the Gospel message which is that God loves us enough to overcome sin for us. I wish I could prevent this discord, but even now when writing this blog entry, I believe I had a reason to be upset even if what I said was wrong. I still feel the need to press the point. And maybe we have to make our feelings known in order to have healthy relationships, but it makes it easy to understand how very different strangers can fight when good friends do.

Mourning with Virginia Tech

As the nation mourns with Virginia Tech after the mass killings there last Monday, our inability to understand such a tragedy burns inside of us.
In the Virginia Tech memorial convocation Tuesday evening, professor and poet Nikki Giovanni said:
"We are Virginia Tech.
We are sad today, and we will be sad for quite a while. We are not moving on, we are embracing our mourning.
We are Virginia Tech.
We are strong enough to stand tall tearlessly, we are brave enough to bend to cry, and we are sad enough to know that we must laugh again.
We are Virginia Tech.
We do not understand this tragedy. We know we did nothing to deserve it, but neither does a child in Africa dying of AIDS, neither do the invisible children walking the night away to avoid being captured by the rogue army, neither does the baby elephant watching his community being devastated for ivory, neither does the Mexican child looking for fresh water, neither does the Appalachian infant killed in the middle of the night in his crib in the home his father built with his own hands being run over by a boulder because the land was destabilized. No one deserves a tragedy.
We are Virginia Tech.
The Hokie Nation embraces our own and reaches out with open heart and hands to those who offer their hearts and minds. We are strong, and brave, and innocent, and unafraid. We are better than we think and not quite what we want to be. We are alive to the imaginations and the possibilities. We will continue to invent the future through our blood and tears and through all our sadness.
We are the Hokies. We will prevail. We will prevail. We will prevail. We are Virginia Tech."
http://www.vt.edu/tragedy/giovanni_transcript.php

As we struggle to undertand this tragedy, our prayers go out all those who mourn at Virginia Tech, that God's healing presence would be felt.

After the Easter Lillies Wilt

I'm in Omaha tonight. It's my mother's 60th birthday. She's just a little upset about turning 60. I can understand it. I didn't particularly relish 30.

We're giving Mom a party. So I've been digging through old pictures and memorabilia in their basement. I found a picture of Mom being surprised at a birthday party for her when she was 34. I remember this party. And now, next month, I will turn 33. It's sort of strange when you get to be the age that you remember your parents being.

And it's a little strange for your parents to be 60 and not seem OLD to you. They don't seem old to me at all, but I know that at one point I considered 60 old. If I were really being honest with myself, I think I would have to admit that my dad is pretty bald, but he's been bald almost as long as I can remember and anyway, there are 23-year-olds at seminary who are bald. But he does have a few wrinkles. Mom's knee bothers her. She would argue that it has nothing to do with age and she's probably right. Still, there are little things that tell you they aren't completely untouched by time. Yet if you met my parents you would NEVER guess they are 60. It isn't just because they bought a Wii for themselves or that my mother likes to start a squirt gun fight every year at our Fourth of July party; they look young. Good genes, which I am pleased about, and they don't either of them drink or smoke or go to places where there is smoking. And they eat vegetables and my mom drinks milk.

The other day I was carded to buy a bottle of wine and the woman almost didn't let me get out of the store with it because she was convinced I had to have a fake i.d. I almost kissed her. I don't care when my students think I am supposed to be in the class, rather than teaching, on the first day. It's nice. When I was in high school and college I didn't like it much though.

I was studying the passage from Paul in 1 Thessalonians about the dead rising first. It makes me wonder always about how this is going to work. Do we get our bodies. In a class the other day someone was joking that she wanted her 19-year-old body. I think I'd take 24. It's a strange concept to think about. And then to think about cremation and the little problem of conservation of matter (assuming it will apply at the eschaton) and all the people who have existed and will exist. Who knows where we'll go. We'd probably just be too heavy for the earth if all people were alive bodily at the same time (Maybe it would just be believers? And anyway we'd have our 19 year old bodies so we'd be lighter.) The idea of the resurrection of the body is an interesting question. It is something I think about more and more at Easter time. Maybe we'll get cool walk-through-doors bodies like Jesus. Likely we will all be bodily resurrected to a place and in a way that we just don't understand now, but during this last Holy Week, I thought about it quite a lot.

My sister died when I was a child. My Godmother died last year. I've lost grandparents and friends and aunts and uncles and all sorts of people I love. As my parents get older, I am confronted with the finitude of their existence. I cannot imagine a world that is missing some of the people in my life. And perhaps the hardest part about grief, for me, is that I know that you live through it. You laugh other days and you do laundry and you go to work, even when someone in your life dies. And one of the reasons you are able to go back to life is the belief we all have in the life to come, the everlasting promise of Jesus on Easter.

And yet, I think about the resurrection of the body. And I think about all of that and I think that I would rather not know anything after I die if some of the people I have loved in my life, people who were not Christian, will not be wherever I am. And I would rather not know anything after I die if my baby sister will remain trapped inside of her infant body for eternity, unable to ever talk or understand the love that my family has for her. And I would rather my dad could have the afro-like hair back that he naturally had until it fell out.

I am comforted by the Easter message, but then I doubt. I doubt and I worry and I don't know how to accept that God is going to take care of all of my concerns and fears in ways I can't imagine. But I doubt.

In this post-Enlightenment world we live in, oftentimes non-Christians see Christians as those who just believe. Maybe the non-Christians think we are silly and superstitious for believing because they believe in something else (after all, belief in total logical positivism is itself an act of faith, but that's another blog). Maybe they think we are people who just happen to have this monolithic gift of faith that they don't. Sometimes I think we want to show people the love we feel in Christ so much, that we forget to show them our doubt, our struggle, our questions. What would it be like for us to say "Yes, I question all the same things that you question, all the things that seem foreign to our worldview. You don't have to believe all the time on every level to be Christian. You do have to nurture the little seedlings of your faith, but not believing all the time doesn't mean you are an unbeliever." Would the concept of Christianity which has so spread around our society by the more radical wings of Christians be affected if people heard Christians say "I doubt, but I believe too." Sometimes I think we say we believe, tell ourselves we believe because we are so afraid of doubt. And sometimes I think we build up false idols around things we can believe, around dogmatism, just because we can comfort our own doubts by having a strict litany of things we rehearse in our head as what we believe. Especially in a world of doubters that sees clergy as unfailing believers, perhaps the human frailties of doubt might not be a bad thing to show now and then. After all, Peter denied Jesus three times. Peter, whom the church was to be built upon, doubted. We've all heard sermons on "Doubting Thomas" and how he gets a bad rap. It's probably true. How powerful an image is it that Jesus didn't really get mad at Thomas. Jesus was patient and showed Thomas what he needed to see. I don't know why we live in a world where God allows doubt, but I do know it is one of the types of suffering that exists in this world.

I doubt, but I believe too.

I am Peter

To complete the Lenten series of monologues I was doing at St. Andrew, I performed one today (Easter Sunday) from the perspective of Peter, according to Luke 24:1-12. I did this for our three services, two in English and one in Spanish. It went like this:

"I remember the day, the other ten disciples and I were gathered together, grieving the death of our teacher and Lord, Jesus Christ.. He was killed a criminal’s death on the cross, and now here we were with deep sadness and confusion. All of a sudden the women who had went to Jesus’ tomb to bring spices came running in to tell us that the stone in front of Jesus’ tomb was rolled away, and Jesus’ body was gone! They said that two men in dazzling clothes—angels, told them that Jesus was risen from the dead. The disciples did not believe what the women said, and why should they have? Once you’re dead, you’re dead! Right? But why would the women make up something like this? I mean, I don’t know them to lie. What if what they were saying was true? What if Jesus had risen from the dead? No, it couldn’t be! Or what if someone had stolen his body from the tomb? I had to see for myself. So I got up and ran to the tomb, and was short of breath when I finally arrived. Then I stooped and looked inside the tomb and I saw only the linen cloths that had been wrapped on Jesus body. Could it be? They were right, Jesus’ body was gone! I was amazed! But what did this mean? My Lord Jesus, have you indeed risen from the dead?"

I can imagine Peter going back and forth in his mind like this. Finally, he needed to see it for himself. We can relate that the resurrection is tough to believe, but why? After reflecting on this story, I believe what Peter was struggling with was more than just the notion of resurrecting from the dead. He was so immersed in the death, struggle, pain and grief, that he couldn't see outside it. It is in this bitter grief of death on Friday that the hope of resurrection comes on Sunday.

Christian Peace Witness in DC

On Friday, March 16 I traveled with over 20 seminarians, mostly from McCormick Theological Seminary to the Christian Peace Witness (CPW) for Iraq gathering in Washington DC. We were a part of over 3,000 Christians uniting in response to our faith, to call for an end to the War in Iraq. This was the first of a weekend of protests around the country to mark the fourth anniversary of the war. The CPW gathering started with a service at the Washington National Cathedral at 7:00pm, where we sang songs of hope and heard from several speakers. After the service we marched in the snow and cold with battery-operated candles to the White House singing hymns of peace and hope (see picture). At the White House 222 people were arrested for praying in an area that requires constant movement. One of the speakers at the service was Celeste Zappala, who lost her son in the war, and shared the following words:

“Tonight we’re in the National Cathedral, the alter of the nation, and we lay before God the sorrow that lives in all of us because of this war. Since Sherwood (her son who died in the War in Iraq) died protecting the Iraq Survey Group as they looked for the weapons of mass destruction 2,483 more American lives have been lost… And how many limbs? And how many eyes? And how much blood? And what about the souls of soldiers who pick up the pieces of their friends? Or fearfully fire into a car and discover a minute later a shattered Iraqi family? In Iraq shamefully no one could say how many children and old people have died, those counts are only kept in the hearts of the people who lost them, keep these people in your heart. An Iraqi mother searches a morgue for the familiar curve of the hand of her child beneath a pale sheet. An American father watches his son beheaded on video tape. An Iraqi child wakes up in a shabby hospital in excruciating pain, because of the loss of his arm. An American girl writes letters to her dead soldier father. An American vet wraps a garden hose around his neck, and leaps away from the nightmares that beset him. And the ocean of tears spreads across both countries along with the numbers: 1,950 US kids have lost parents, 25,000 wounded and struggling through the VA system, scores and scores of suicides, 500,000 and more dead in Iraq, 2 million refugees, a wail rises from the throats from all who love these people and shakes our hearts as it reaches the crucified open arms of Jesus. We’re here tonight as the church, each one of us is a witness to this war and to our own complicity in it, when were we silent when we should have spoken, whose eyes would we not meet to face the truth? Now we are prostrate at this alter, begging: ‘Lord, help us, war is our failure to love you, and peace is your command, peace isn’t the easy way out, its creation is the most confounding, the hardest thing we can do, help us, we lay our souls open to you and question, how can we follow your command to love each other?’ Surely it cannot be by mindlessly sending the children of others to kill people we don’t even know. I know that nothing I say, no amount of logic or protest will bring my son back to me, or any of the lost ones home. Yet I ask the Lord to help us, we lay this grief before the Lord, our souls broken open, ready to rise to witness, ready to love God’s world to peace. Bless you and thank you.”

Zappala's words shook me because not only was it a call to peace in Iraq, it was a call to repentance of our own complicity in this war. She reminds us that even though for the past four years we've seen death tolls in the daily news, that there is mourning and wailing behind the words and numbers. I believe my faith calls me to hear their cry and to join in. This experience has affirmed a part of my call to ministry, that I carry the bible in one hand and a newspaper in the other. As we approach Good Friday, may we not read the words in the newspaper, but may they be heard as "a wail rises from the throat from all who love these people and shakes our hearts as it reaches the crucified open arms of Jesus."

Baby's First Oppression

I have something new for my baby book today. My mother has my book in Omaha somewhere with a lock of my hair from my first haircut and the birth announcements and information about my first steps and first words.

First you need to know that I have always been at best a reluctant feminist, that I was one of the last people around here to change to gender-inclusive language when talking about God. Next you need to know that one of the predecessor institutions which formed LSTC was Seminex, the Seminary in Exile from the Missouri Synod Seminary where students and faculty walked out of the Seminary and that tradition many years ago largely over issues like female ordination. When that body voted against female ordination, a large group of all men, including some faculty members who are still teaching at LSTC today, left with no plans for their future except that they could not be a part of that group anymore. Needless to say, because of that institutional heritage, LSTC is a very open place for female would-be pastors. In fact it was one of those Seminex Professors who finally modelled gender inclusive language for God enough that I started using it. Around here, the belief in ordination of females is a fundamental assumption that isn't even really talked about anymore. It's a given. It's like talking about the earth being round, earth shattering at some point in history, but hardly shocking today.

I have two friends who are remarkable men. Young men, both younger than me. Both are extremely intelligent. One is, in some ways, one of my closest confidants in the world. I respect both men implicitly. They are both very kindhearted, tolerant, progressive and unselfish. Essentially they are exactly the kind of people you want to have as pastors. I trust them enough to jump out of a plane if they told me it was safe.

Today I had lunch with these two men. We were, as we often do, talking about theology. My close friend said that he thought, now that we have agreed with the Catholics on justification, that we ought to rejoin them, "submit" to the Roman Catholic church was what he said. He said submitting was the Christian thing to do, even though as Lutherans we would have to just change some of our policies and confessional beliefs to do so. In the interest of Church unity, we ought to submit. My other friend said he thought it wasn't a bad idea exactly. I disagreed and put forth the standard reasons, the hierarchical structure, the Pope, the veneration of the Saints, the policy on penitence, etc.

Then, in the middle of one of my friend's statements, I thought about the differences and exclaimed, interrupting him, that there was no way we could return to the Catholic church because of its policies on women and because women cannot be ordained as priests. I expected I had hit a home run. For me the question was settled. I expected them to both say "Oh yeah, I didn't really think about that." Instead, both said something to the effect of yes, it was a shame, but that was essentially a sacrifice they were willing to make in the interest of Church unity. My close friend suggested that we could all work together inside the church to reform it and eventually women would again be able to be fully ordained as pastors/priests.

I was shocked. Surely they just hadn't thought about it I thought. So I thought I would make it less abstract for them. "That would mean that all of the women in your classes would not be able to be pastors." They were both willing to sacrifice their classmates ordination, the unqualified acceptance of women as equally acceptable to partake in all aspects of Christian community and practice. One of them said "There are lots of very pious happy nuns." For me that statement suggested that women should/could learn to adjust. I started shaking and said we needed to discuss something else. Tears welled in my eyes. I was startled by my own strong reaction. The men respected my boundary and we talked about something else. My close friend sought me out tonight because he wanted to understand and he felt bad and had detected some error in his thought.

I had never felt oppressed until this lunch.

Although I am a woman, I've not felt that I was treated differently because of it. I have more education than almost any men around (makes getting a date tricky) and I've been in traditionally male-dominated professions like law. I come from a now upper-middle class family. I have the kind of personality or a mean looking face, or something that makes people typically take me seriously and not doubt my ability to do something. Or at least I am argumentative and stubborn enough that people generally don't tell me I can't do something because they know they will just waste their time even if I really can't do it. I've generally been exempt from feeling the exercise of power over or against me. My parents were supportive and generally let me help my dad with construction projects while my brother helped my mom make lunch.

What I learned today is that oppression is latent. Discrimination is powerful because it exists in the silent places in the mind, because it becomes part of the fabric of a culture. If I had that same conversation with men I didn't respect quite as much or men I didn't think wanted to do the right thing or men who I didn't think truly valued and believed in the equality of women, I would not have been so disturbed. These are men I trust to look out for my best interests far before their own. I was not mad at them because they didn't understand they were wrong. I was shocked and horrified to realize I live in a world where men I respect, young men, still think that women's equality to men is not one of the basic premises of life, that it is something which can be sacrificed if necessary, and that it isn't shocking for them to think of living in a world where women are lesser and that they could think of asking of their sisters to submit to an authority which sees them as lesser and will not accept them as pastors.

So today I realized what it really means to be oppressed. It means to be asked by someone who is perfectly good intentioned to make a forced sacrifice for something they value. It means they are willing to decide that your feelings and thoughts are expendable in the right situations. It means well-intentioned people think that your equality with them is something that can be negotiable for the right reasons. It means that still, in the back of their minds, they think that open discrimination against you is acceptable in some way under some circumstances.

I confess, I didn't believe our brothers and sisters in other oppressed classes who told me that I and other good, well-intentioned people can be accidentally oppressive. I resisted the idea that discrimination was institutionalized. I worried that focusing on discrimination was actually more divisive than uniting.

After my lunch experience today, I am not sure exactly what I feel about what should be done. I still think that I have been given all of life's opportunities and that others are openly oppressed whereas I am living in a situation where the oppression doesn't really become a factor in my life very often. I did learn my grammar today. Oppression is a noun, not a verb. It isn't an action, it's a state of existence. That it could ever be justified by thinking people in the name of anything Christian is a hard reality to swallow. Mark my baby book. Today was baby's first oppression. Today my eyes were opened to some of the latent cruelties in the world.

I am Barabbas

"I was sitting in chains, both hands and feet, in a dirty, cold and damp prison. I had robbed. I had murdered. I knew someday I would be caught, but until then I had always been able to slip through their fingers..." This is a part of a monologue from the perspective of Barabbas. What happened in Barabbas' mind once he heard the news that he would be set free after all the terrible things he had done? How did he respond to this radical grace? How do we respond grace in our lives?

This monologue was part of a Lenten Wednesday worship service series I am doing with Lara (another LSTC student) at St. Andrew Lutheran Church in West Chicago for our Ministry In Context (field education) project. Each week I memorize and perform a different monologue from a Lenten drama series called "Am I Guilty?" by Audrey Surma (published by Contemporary Drama Services). The monologues have been from the perspectives of Caiaphas the High Priest, a moneychanger, a member of the mob, Barabbas. Next week I will be Cornelius a Centurion and then Peter for Easter. I perform these monologues in first person story form, walking around the room, and then inviting discussion. Each monologue has sparked discussion on the parallels between these biblical characters and us today. Do we seek power like Caiaphas? Do we practice unethical business like the moneychangers? Do we follow the crowd like members of the mob? Do we still see a lot of these tendencies today? What does this tell us about sin? What does this tell us about grace? These are many of the questions the people of St. Andrew and I have been reflecting on and engaging during this Lenten season. Peace and grace to all of you.

Day Trip

Despite all the homework and grading I REALLY ought to be doing, one of my seminary friends and his wife and I all went on a day trip today. We travelled up the west coast of Lake Michigan since it was raining on the east side. We took a tour of the Jelly Belly factory and then went to a state park somewhere north of Milwaukee. It was really nice to get out of the city and see the lake shore in a quasi-natural state (there were still bits of pink Styrofoam floating in the rocks at water's edge and the occasional plastic bottle lodged into piles of shells).

I am absolutely convinced that God is revealed in nature. And God works in nature. Of course humans are natural too and therefore human-made items must be, in some way, natural. And God obviously works in humans. But you know what I mean--the non-human made stuff out there in the world is pretty revelatory. I feel closer to God from going out and walking on the beach. I feel more at peace.

But we don't have much "nature" left really. And although it is possible to enjoy the little bits-- the snowdrops and crocus flowers blooming in the yards along Woodlawn Ave-- it is sometimes very helpful to get the more dramatic dose of nature. Not everyone gets that opportunity. And if everyone did go out and walk on the beach like I did today, the beach wouldn't stay "natural" for very long. It's an interesting balance. We are in a position very different than the one that confronted biblical peoples. Then there was a struggle to survive for humans in a large world of "nature." It was necessary to be fruitful and multiply or we might not have made it as a species. Now the tables have turned.

I am faced with a series of dillemmas when I think about the Earth and "environmentalism." First. I come from a large family and I think I derived a lot of benefits and life lessons from the size of my family. But if I ever have a family of my own, should I keep it small because of the overpopulation of the earth? I love taking unnecessary road trips, but I probably hurt the environment by driving with fossil fuels. Think globally, act locally. How can you act when you are crippled by the enormity of the problem of thinking globally? What can we do when there are so many people alive and we want to keep them all alive and yet the world is straining under the bulk of our population? What happens if only certain factions in society curb their reproduction-- when the demographics of the society change will the environment be in better or worse shape if only those who don't seem to care as much bear and raise children?

Middle Times

Right now we are in the middle of the Semester-- a busy time in some ways with papers due just around the corner. For me it's my middler year in Seminary in a way that is even more true than for other middlers. I am taking three years to do an M.A. and so this really is the middle year.

It's sort of a moment of peace and familiarity. I know the schedule; I know what's expected of me. Life is a little bit settled for the moment. I guess most of the world operates in that moment, in the middle times. For me it's the most enjoyable time because I can focus on things other than putting fires out. So I took a quick trip home to Nebraska this weekend to see family-- it wasn't as quick as I'd hoped since the train was 10 hours late on the way back! I am working on a paper for Systematics and I have enough time to work just a little each day, then set it down and come back to it. My friends and I are talking about driving up the East coast of Lake Michigan tomorrow just to see what we can see. Since it's reading week (a whole week this semester) we have the day off.

The flowers are just starting to bloom and when the sun shines you feel like you just might have glimpsed eternity. This is Springtime! I don't really think it is the new beginning. It's the middle time. The time between trying to survive in muck and snow and cold in winter and the oppressive heat of summer. The middle times when things grow even if you don't water them.

I guess I don't live very well in the middle times. I get anxious and want to get moving on past them. But I almost always look back and wish I hadn't been so eager. It's easy to love spring, and I am enjoying this year, but stretch out the middle times into five or ten years and I get restless. I'm not sure why.

how I long to smell the shoe

I enjoy playing basketball with a group of LSTC students every Thursday. Last Thursday we had the traditional bi-anual Student vs. Staff/Faculty Basketball Game. This semester's game we pumped the court with the Rocky theme song, and had team shirts that said: "HERE I SLAM, I CAN DO NO OTHER."

Unfortunately, we lost again (which is usually the case). They won the much coveted trophy, the president's "Shoe." I must mention that their team consists mostly of younger staff that are very athletic. However, we will have our day of glory, just you wait. Now as we sing the familiar tune of "next year," we do not sing it as the Cubs sing it, we sing it with fullness of confidence. I won't be here to see it, but next year will be dawning of a new era, I can feel it...and the students will win that shoe, and we will take it and we will smell its glory.

A prayer for Lent

God of love and understanding, as Jesus forgave the woman caught in her sin and the thief hanging to pay for his, forgive me those things of which I am sorry or ashamed.

Forgive me so that I might be a person redeemed and full of hope.

May some part of your dominion come through me and may I be one who offers forgiveness to others.

For your grace is without limit, your call to follow you is wondrous, and my life is continually restored through Jesus Christ my Lord.Amen

- from the Oremus III+ worship book

I'm going to Argentina for Internship!

I am excited to announce that through the I will be doing my internship in Argentina. My internship is the third year (out of four) of seminary, which is a field education requirement where I will be ministering in a church full time under the supervision of a pastor. This opportunity is through the ELCA Horizon International Internship program.

It will be in the cities of Resistencia and Corrientes -which are close to one another and both a population of about 300,000, in the northern part of Argentina. I will be at a two-point parish: Mision Maria Magdalena in Resistencia & Congregacion San Mateo in Corrientes, Argentina.

I will be starting on July 15 with a three week long orientation with ELCA Global Mission, and then will be traveling to Argentina for the course of a year. I am very excited about this placement, and eager for this transformational experience to grow deeper into my call. Having never been to South America, this will further broaden experience and my tools for ministry.

Does Fair Trade Work?

Does Fair Trade work? This is the frequent question I asked myself while I was in Nicaragua, and I’ve been asked by others since I’ve been back. My answer is: Yes.

Reason #1- Perhaps most importantly, given low market prices, Fair Trade ensures farmers a fair price, Equal Exchange ensures a minimum of $1.41 per pound of organic coffee. For the high quality coffee which comes from their cooperative partners in Nicaragua, the company often pays considerably more. For small-scale farmers, a fair price is just the beginning of the benefits of Fair Trade. “We do not want people to buy our coffee, to pay a fair price, because we are poor. We want you to buy our coffee because of its quality,” said Blanca Rosa Morales, the President of Cecocafen, the coffee co-op visited by the group. “And this quality translates into many other qualities: not just the quality in your cup, but our quality of life, the environment, and of our children’s education – it is total quality.”

Reason #2- By trading directly with farmer co-ops, Equal Exchange cuts out layers of “middlemen,” who small scale farmers are usually forced to sell to because they are isolated from markets. This ensures that more money reaches the people who do the hard work of growing and harvesting coffee.

Reason #3- Another important Fair Trade standard is to provide the cooperatives with loans so that the cooperatives can pay their members for the coffee well before the coffee is shipped to the U.S. This provides the farmers with funds between harvests – money for farm improvements, seedlings, and training programs, as well as family expenses such as medicines, clothing and school supplies – helping them to stay out of debt. In 2005, Equal Exchange arranged for pre-shipment financing of $1.7 million to its cooperative partners. This was one of the most frequent benefits of Fair Trade that we heard in the cooperatives we visited. Especially since the Central American Coffee Crisis hit Nicaragua about six years ago, where sales went down significantly, the instability of the coffee market haunted our hosts. One story that is still burning inside me is a testimony about a nearby community that suffered the deaths of 25 children because of the Coffee Crisis. Therefore, Fair Trade in some instances even means the difference between life and death.

Summary of my J-Term trip to Nicaragua

For my January term course this year I made a week-long visit to Nicaragua with the to learn more about Fair Trade and the lives of small-scale coffee farmers. My trip was made possible by a scholarship for seminarians to go on Lutheran World Relief study visits. I traveled with a delegation of 20 people sponsored by Lutheran World Relief and the Center for Global Education of Augsburg College. Representatives from Equal Exchange, a Fair Trade organization that imports coffee, tea and cocoa, were also with the group. We heard from several people working with farming cooperatives, and the positive impact Fair Trade has had on their lives. We spent two nights with a gracious family from a coffee farming cooperative. I joined the nine year old son Julito (see picture) in picking coffee from the trees. We were able to observe all the steps involved in producing the coffee, which I will attempt to summarize. After picking the coffee, it is brought in burlap bags down to a Wet Mill, where it is de-pulped. Later it is brought to a Dry Mill where it is preserved and then cupped and tested for quality.


After this trip, when I drink coffee I can remember the nine year old boy Julito picking each coffee cherry off of the tree, and all the subsequent labor that was invested in it. This is the type of solidarity that Fair Trade offers. I will close with a reflection on the sermon we heard from the Lutheran bishop of Nicaragua who talked about the star that the Magi followed, and the ways that God’s revelation encounters us. I saw Christ’s presence revealed in countless ways in the hope and resilience in the people we met in Nicaragua, which had a profound impact on my faith, and will certainly have an impact on my future ministry.

Please take a look at my trip pictures at: http://picasaweb.google.com/JoshEbener/Nicaragua
To get a day by day synopsis of our trip, visit our online study diary at: http://www.lwr.org/studydiary/itinerary.asp?VisitID=13
For more information about Equal Exchange, Fair Trade and Equal Exchange’s Interfaith Program visit www.equalexchange.com, or call (774) 776-7366. For more information about the Lutheran World Relief Coffee Project, visit http://www.lwr.org/coffee/index.asp, or call (410) 230-2800.

Shades of Gray

Human eye can distinguish 250 pure colors, 17000 mixed colors, and 300 shades of gray. - Brain Food Podcast

Yeah, my eyes can deal with shades of gray, but my mind has some trouble wrapping around all that uncertainty. In less than a week, many of my senior classmates will be receiving their regional assignments. This is one of the steps in the first call process for anyone looking to be in rostered ministry in the ELCA.

So the questions are intensifying. Where are we gonna live? What congregations or settings will we end up in? When do we have to start paying back student loans? Will we find new friends where we are heading? What if it takes a while to get a call? Am I really ready for this?

I'd really like a clear path, a nice red flag pointing my in the right direction. But this is a journey. God is with me and all of us in this time of amazingly scary uncertainty. Thankfully, there's comfort in that.

Superbowl

Several things struck me on this "Superbowl Sunday." When I first woke up this morning, the television news anchors were talking about the potential problems to the waste water management systems in America because, just as half-time started, such a large portion of Americal would flush at the same time. When I think about this, I wonder at the power of something which can cause such a huge majority of people in the US to behave identically. Later in the broadcast, some intrepid reporter was out at Soldier Field's parking lot because there was a crowd gathered "tailgating" -- there are two facts of which you must be aware to fully understand the import of this assembly. First, as is widely known, the Superbowl wasn't played at Soldier Field-- none of the players or coaches were there. Second, it was the coldest day in Chicago (CHICAGO!) in eleven years. I wonder at what has the power to gather so many who could not even hope to be entertained by the sporting event to gather on this bitterly cold morning.

There were many Superbowl parties in the Seminary housing where I live, just as there are in homes all across the U.S. The Superbowl is a tradition. People remember where they were when certain games were played. Superbowl Sunday has become something of a holiday. My students complained because they have a paper due tomorrow.

I have a penchant for studying ancient cultures, especially Egypt, but I am also interested in
Isreal, Rome and Ancient China, etc. One thing that strikes me from these studies is the role of the gods in the lives of most ancient peoples. Gods represented you as a people. You rooted for your god because if your god won a battle, you won. Of course your gods never "won" battles in the myths until you as a people got to write the myths, so that probably meant you won some military victory over another people and consequently its gods.

We sometimes call certain actresses "screen goddesses" and I wonder whether there isn't more truth than poetry to this comment. We follow their loves and losses, pay attention to their triumphs and sometimes secretly smile at their failures. We take our sons and daughters to Wrigley field and tell them the stories of the past there, the teams that have played and the mythos that surrounds them. We tell them which other teams we hate and which ones are okay, but just not as good as our team. We get in arguments defending the honor of our team, our side, our pride. We associate ourselves with the acts of these athletes who we refer to in mythical language: gladiators, warriors, combatants.

I am struck, then, most by the similarities we have with our foreparents who, searching for meaning and truth in life, grabbed onto stories of something greater than themselves, something to take themselves out of the misery or tediousness of their own lives, and I wonder whether polytheism was the mass entertainment and celebrity watching of the past, or whether professional sporting events and Hollywood are the pantheon of the polytheism of the present. Either way, I wonder whether we as humans have an innate need for something (like ritual and a sense of belongingness) that causes us to make myths out of people and to stand out in the cold on days when the high is zero degrees.

Retreat

For the past two weeks I have been on retreats. Last weeks retreat was actually a class with the Alban Institute. It was designed to increase our "Emotional Intelligence." It was a great class, but very intense as we were in small groups for 5-7 hours a day. Those groups helped us become more self-aware and perceptive as we relate to others.

The second retreat was at the Cenacle in Warrenville, IL. This retreat was a prayer retreat. I am so glad that I had the opportunity to go on this. After such an intense class the week before, these past few days have really helped me center myself and reflect on what I learned. This is a mosaic of some of the pics I took while there.


This is what I like about our J-term so much. The options for classes are very different from trips to Israel, Geneva, Mexico, Tanzania, or Nebraska to retreats that are very focused on personal development and growth to intense studies of Hebrew texts. I'm also glad that the regularity of the semester is about to begin and the community begins to reconnect after being apart during the break.

Peace,
Ben

Saludos de Nicaragua

Right now I am in Nicaragua for a January Term travel seminar on Fair Trade coffee, thanks to a scholarship from Lutheran World Relief. This has been an amazing trip full of transformation and insight. Yesterday was a huge day in the history of Nicaragua, as Daniel Ortega was inaugurated president. We watched the ceremony and speech on TV, since it was in Managua and we´re in Matagalpa, but this city was sounding with fireworks. Most of the areas we´ve been visiting are of Ortega´s Sandanista party and have hope in the new government. It´s quite an exciting time to be in Nicaragua.

Today (Thursday) we were in the city of Matagalpa, and headed out to La Esperanza (Hope) Cooperative, which LWR supports. We heard various stories from the people that work at this coffee cooperative, and the benefits to the community. One is that because of the cooperative, their wages don´t go up and down because of the market, but are sustained. Another is many community projects such as road improvement and a car for emergencies. The community was very hopeful that we would share their stories with all of you, and keep promoting Fair Trade coffee. They send thanks to all of you who support their cooperative through LWR.

Then we visited a women´s collective supported by Project CIPRES and LWR who works on growing, processing and commercializing medicinal plants and conserved products. Two women shared their stories of how the medicinal plants not only help with income, but also with the health of the community. The other 24 women were invited to meet with president Ortega and president Chavez of Venezuela.We ended the day with reflection. Overall, I am struck by the vibrant spirit of Nicaragua, the deep beauty of it´s people and land. I have seen the Spirit of God shining in the resilience and hope in the people I have had the pleasure to meet here. I am learning a lot about the depth of solidarity, and this is equipping me for ministry.

I will be documenting the rest of the trip on my blogs to come (when I return to the US).

In Gods peace,
Josh

Approval

Sunday night I traveled 2.5 hours down to Columbus, OH for my Approval. Approval is the 3rd of 3 interviews that I must go through in order to be ordained as a pastor in the ELCA. I wasn’t too nervous heading down for the interview with the Candidacy Committee, but I was unsure of what to expect. I really didn’t know the people on the committee-would they be tough on me, challenge me, be supportive of me?

Pleasantly, they were all 3.

The time we spent together (about an hour) was filled with them asking me questions regarding an essay that I wrote which included a sermon, theological reflection on forgiveness, a discussion of public ministry, and a personal reflection section. The questions they raised for me were challenging and opened good opportunities for conversation. I did not feel they were out to get me, but rather out to understand me. That was reasurring, as their task asks them to recommend me for ministry within the Church.

After the time together, I stepped out of the room, they talked about me and invited me back in 15 minutes later. Their recommendation was for approval. The rest of their recommendation was extremely flattering and it gave me energy again for this ministry that will be set before me.

Their final words to me were nice to hear. As I still have one more year of school left they said, “Remember, we’re still your committee. If there is anything we can do for you, please let us know.”

With that I left, called some loved ones, and departed-approved of-not only by them, the church, myself, but also, by God.

Ben

Isaiah 65:13-16

This was one of the readings in my devotion book this morning. I struggle with passages like this from scripture-where God’s chosen are blessed and their enemies are cursed. Usually, I try to gloss over these sections and make the enemies refer to something sprititual in my life or to see myself as the enemy of God. Yet, originally, that is not how this text was intended. It literally meant the enemies of God’s chosen, of Israel.

How do we interpret these texts in our world today? Our President spoke the othernight of killing and capturing our enemies. Are they the ones that God will curse? We proclaim a gospel of grace-of good news for all humanity and creation. Yet, these passages do not lead us into inclusivity with our neighbors, but an exclusivity from our enemies. We cannot only hear the blessing, because the entire passage is a blessing to those on the inside and it is all a curse to those on the outside. We claim that we belong on the side of blessing and that the “other”stands on the side of curse.

In this passage of good news for Israel, it is sometimes hard to hear good news for all. I don’t know if we can find good news for all in it.
This semester I am taking a class on Israel’s Prophets (finally). I hope to struggle with these texts and questions throughout the semester. I’ll continue to share my reflections as they come.

Peace,
Ben

Happy New Year!

Christmas and New Years were great for me. I spent time with my family, went to my home church and had a nice break from papers and grading and homework. I am just teaching during J-term, not jetting off to anywhere exciting or even taking a class. So I have a little downtime now as well. But even now I realize that with re-organizing my apartment after one of my roommates moved out and teaching and all the little things you promise to do for people, there really isn't much leisure time. This semester my resolution is to make more time for people. I get carried away with work and don't spend time with some of my friends because I am just too busy. So all the people around campus that I've been saying I just need to go have lunch with sometime or catch a movie with or play cards with. . . well I am going to (try to) actually do it this year!

Have a blessed 2007!
Wendy

Another 2 days in Geneva

The jet lag has apparently hit me. After sleeping for 14 hours the first night here (maybe NOT such a great idea?!), I've been hardly able to sleep at all the past two nights...I'm hoping tonight is the night I'm going to get back on track.

Yesterday Krista, my roommate, and I did some more walking around the area we are staying and actually found what we were looking for the day before. There's this fabulous "balcony" that overlooks the lake and the beautiful mountains. Here's a pic of me and the mountains :)



Last night (Saturday) almost all of the 23 in our group had arrived, so we ate dinner together and had a short meeting. Most were super tired as they had just arrived.

Today we got up and went to the worship service at the Evangelical Lutheran Church of Geneva...English speaking :) It was really great, with people from all over the world, and many languages spoken. Here's a picture of the church....looks more like a chateau, which we found out is because churches aren't allowed to look like churches in Geneva!! Why? Because John Calvin was real big back in the day of the Reformation, and the Cathedral of St. Pierre where he preached is a great big cathedral that is very noticeable in Geneva's "skyline." And apparently his was the only thing that could look like a place of worship. Anything that wasn't a Reformation church wasn't allowed to look like a church at all!!


Since there's so much history here with the Reformation, they have a wall that is a monument for it. We went by that wall, plus we even got to go to the Reformation Museum :) Here's me with Martin Luther's "statue"...ie a big block with his name on it. Apparently there's some Germans in Geneva who are pushing for a "real" Luther statue - Calvin and others actually have their bodies as statues in this same park...but not Luther....


And finally near the end of the day we went up the 157 steps to the top of the tower at the St. Pierre Cathedral. As you can see below it was a pretty amazing view. We found out at the bottom that one of the guys in our group proposed to one of the girls!!! (Yes, they knew each other before today!!!) How romantic!!


Tomorrow class starts....which means I have to go do some reading to prepare!

Exploring Geneva

Well we have almost made it through our first whole day in Geneva! It is about 7:30 pm here and I am updating the blog before heading to my room to watch a dvd on my laptop and eat Swiss chocolate :)

Several interesting things to note today:

*Bus. We waited in the rain last night for a bus that only comes once an hour. It came. We stood right outside the doors and waited for them to open. The people on the inside looked at us. The bus drove away.

So we learned the hard way that we must push a button to get the bus doors to open or it will drive away from you!!!

*Sleep. We went to bed at 9 pm and woke up at 11 am. Aaaah.

*Walking. We decided to "hang low" today, so we took a walk around the block. Which turned into walking all the way to downtown and the lake and such.

This picture doesn't do justice to the amazing view of mountains we have right behind the place we are staying...


The famous jet d'eau in Lake Geneva.


*Fondu. We had some delicious, and expensive, cheese fondu today. We also found out that they don't serve you water for free here....we had to pay almost 5 Francs for a bottle of water!

Yep - that's me eating fondu :)

Follow me in Nicaragua...

I received a scholarship from Lutheran World Relief (LWR) for a study visit to Nicaragua from January 5-14, which I will be taking for my J-Term course. During this study visit we will explore the roots of faith and fair trade via the LWR Coffee Project. We will meet farming families that have benefited from the Fair Trade coffee cooperative they run. Please follow me in my trip in our group’s online study diary:

http://www.lwr.org/studydiary/entry.asp?ItineraryDate=1/5/2007&VisitID=13

Becky's J-Term

Hey everyone! I have just arrived in Geneva, Switzerland for an almost 3 week long J-Term class. It's called "Ecumenism in a Globalized World." I plan to update this blog regularly with my adventures, and hopefully some pictures too!

Well, my roomie and I are safely in Geneva, Switzerland after a mostly smooth ride. Well, ok, we DID miss our connecting flight from Zurich to Geneva...but we got on the next one immediately after, and our luggage even made it too. Bizarre thing though - we had to go through security again at the Zurich airport...so they took my water that I saved from the earlier flight. Weird.

There was supposed to be someone picking us up at the airport in Geneva but there was no one to be found (and it turns out they just forgot or something - it WASN'T because we missed the flight...which did I mention was not our fault? We sat on the runway in Chicago for almost an hour...). Anyway, we were adventurous and took a city bus to where we are staying...the John Knox Center. What little French I have left has come in very handy so far!!

So it's almost 5 pm here, but our bodies are telling us something much different. We are 7 hours ahead of the central time zone by the way. We are about to venture onto the city bus again and head into town for some din-din.

Peace!

New Orleans for New Year's

I rang in the New Year in New Orleans this year. I was there for my 7th and final National Gathering, and this year happened to be an ecumenical event called Celebrate. I was also representing LSTC at an exhibitor table with staff and students from the other ELCA Seminaries.

For all those who go to New Orleans and only stay in the downtown area, they may be deceived by how the city looks. The downtown area is a fun place to be, and mostly redone and making tourists happy. As soon as you head into actual residential neighborhoods, however, you can still see the devastation of Hurricane Katrina, a year and a half later. Entire neighborhoods are still empty. For sale signs and construction crew ads are everywhere. Trees are down. Water still sits. You can see the flood line on many buildings that you pass. Perhaps the toughest thing to see was the markings on each building. Each building had to be marked that it had been gone through, and the number of bodies found inside was included in this marking. I suggest if you have the opportunity to go down to the Gulf Coast area and help out, do it! They still need so much done. The people of New Orleans have an amazing spirit, and were so so thankful for our presence there. I have a new hope for that city than I did before I traveled there this New Year's.

Gutted out houses...


Vacant strip mall...


Torn up house...


It was hard to get a good picture of the markings on each house, but this is an example...

¿Donde esta Jesús?

Yesterday I delivered a sermon at my “Ministry In Context” (field education) church. It was great experience for me getting to preach in Spanish. The Gospel text was Luke 2:41-52, where Jesus at 12 years old goes to the Temple in Jerusalem, and his parents go frantically searching for him, and finally find him three days later. We can picture Jesus’ parents frantically searching for him while he’s dazzling all the professors of Systematic Theology.

When Jesus’ parents find him, he says: “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” He must be in his Father’s “house” or “engaged in his Father’s business.”

Sometimes we can “loose Jesus” too, leaving us frantically searching for him. It is in our searching that Jesus finds us and invites us to join him in being engaged in his “Father’s business.” As we enter this season of Epiphany and this New Year, may Jesus encounter with radical and abundant grace, in ways that are fresh and new, that we never would have expected. May our faith keep us with eyes wide open.

cheesy church slogans

As I’m walking outside of churches, I often marvel at the cheesiness of some of the slogans that are posted.

For example:
“CH_ _ RH – Q: What’s missing? A: UR!”

Or one I just saw:
“The baby Jesus was found in a one star motel”

I am setting out to find the cheesiest ones, so if you’ve seen some good ones send them to me at jebener@lstc.edu and I’ll post them.

the donkey dung manger

It may seem strange, but as I reflect on Christmas this year, I’ve been thinking about the donkey dung that surely surrounded the manger in which the baby Jesus laid.

Seminary has been a journey full of theological formation, and my Christmas theology has been no exception. In my Systematic Theology 1 course last semester, my professor Dr. Vitor Westelle was teaching on “revelation” and was discussing God’s revelation in unexpected ways. He pointed out: Who would have expected that the manifestation of the divine would be in a manger filled with donkey dung?! Only faith can see the Savior in the middle of a smelly manger.

Christ appeared in the smelly manger, into the rough city of Bethlehem, and into a harsh and struggling world. Sometimes I get caught up in the smelliness and harshness of the world today. I think of the War in Iraq, the genocide in Sudan, AIDS in Africa, and the homeless on the streets of Chicago. Although when I reflect on the smelly manger, I am filled with hope. This Christmas I reflect upon the grace of God, that like the little baby appearing in a smelly manger, still shows up today amidst the smelliest circumstances we could ever fathom. This grace may not appear where we would expect it, but it comes where we need it the most. May Christ’s Spirit bring you all the grace and peace of Christmas.

Ministry In Context

As a "middler," (or second year Master of Divinty student) at LSTC, I have a Field Education requirement called "Ministry In Context," which consists of ministry and pastoral observation for 7 hours a week in a local church, and a monthly class. My "MIC" church is St. Andrew Lutheran in West Chicago, IL, a western suburb of Chicago. St. Andrew suffered a fire to their church building a year and a half ago, and have been very resilient in the rebuilding process. Their concept of "church" being broader than the church building is particularly inspiring. St. Andrew now worships in a elementary school gym. They have worship in both Spanish and English, and another student and I have been primarily involved with the Spanish speaking worshiping community. We help with the weekly first communion classes. I help playing guitar for worship. We will also have opportunities to preach and assist in worship. This hands-on ministry experience has allowed me to put to practice what I'm learning in the classroom. It has been great for my pastoral formation, and is affirming my call to ministry in the Latino context.

Sigh of Relief

The end of the semester was a bit stressful as I attempted (successfully) to write a 30 page paper on Max Weber, Ernst Troeltsch, and Martin Luther, give a presentation on Identified Relgious Leaders and how to handle personal crisis, and write a 15 pager on my theological model of ministry. I must say it was a long couple weeks.

Well, the semester is now over! (sigh of relief) That means a bit more sleep, getting to the list of books that people have suggested I read, and enjoying the pleasures of Smallville: Season 5 on DVD. The Christmas music has begun to play on my iPod and over streaming radio. I am looking forward to the break ahead of me and enjoying the company I will have.

I have been so focused on my projects for the end of the semester that I feel like I have missed the coming of Advent. There are still a few weeks left to prepare for the coming of the Christ-child. These weeks go by so quickly, that it is so easy to get caught up in the immediate duties that HAVE to be done that I forget to pay attention to the great opportunities for growth that this time of year brings with it.

May you have a blessed Advent and a Holy Christmas,

Ben

Reflecting

It's finals week here at the seminary. I really can't believe it. So much has happened in the past few months! Part of me feels like they flew by; other parts of me feel like it's been forever!! We have learned so much, especially us first-years. We've moved to Chicago; we've made new friends (and kept in touch with old ones); we've experienced seminary classes and gotten to know professors; we've felt the Midwestern climate - 60 degrees one day and 30 the next! We've gotten settled into our new routines (finally!).

I can't wait to have these papers and finals done, and enjoy the holiday season, and reflect some more on my first semester of seminary. And I'm already excited for what's next - a J-Term in Geneva, Switzerland, and 4 new classes in the Spring Semester!

Post Party Depression

Well, we had our big Advent Party. There was plenty of food and eggnog for everyone. My roommates and I call it our party ministry. Sometimes we think that we get so carried away with school and getting everything done that we forget to celebrate with people. It was nice to sit around and laugh, to invite people into our home. There is something very important about going to someone's home. I think you learn more about a person when you go to his or her home than any other way.

This is us just before the party began. I am the one NOT in Red. Everyone was supposed to bring something from his or her Christmas tradition. So we had Swedish Pastry and a German cake and Spiced Tea and wood carvings and Japanese paper angels and a Christmas CD of the concert at Luther a few years back. It was nice to share those things. I think it is important to have traditions and I enjoyed getting to know my classmates in that way. One thing is sure, even though it is a lot of work and comes at a really bad time in the semester, next year I'll have an Advent Party again.

Liturgical Painting

I love to make art, particularly painting and drawing. I’ve always seen my art as an expression of my faith, as a form of worship. Often my art reflects scripture or prayer. Making art for me is always a spiritual experience, it brings me close to God.
Yesterday I did some “liturgical painting” for our daily chapel service. I painted during the reading of Daniel 7:9-10;13-14, describes Daniel’s vision, which full of vivid imagery: “a son of man, coming with the clouds of heaven.” I continued to paint as the hymns were sung, and this continued to inspire me as I painted. It’s a beautiful thing to feel the Holy Spirit work through multiple expressions of worship.

May all the rich expressions of our hearts praise God, Amen.

Stop & Go Traffic

This is my dog, Lika. She - like me - loves riding in the car. However, she - like me - hates stop and go traffic.

Lika hates sudden stops in the the car because she slams into her doggie seatbelt in the back seat. I hate slamming on the brakes in life because I feel like I'm losing control, or that I'm not applying myself with as much determination as I should.

But really, traffic and life involve quite a bit of kairos - God's time. Sometimes life involves going down the highway at a brisk pace and sometimes there are obstacles or potholes or road construction. Sometimes there might just be a pretty view that entices you enough to pull the car over, get out, and stretch your legs for a bit. So, for those of us in a stretching legs moment, let's relish it and be open to God's timing.

Papers

I am working on my Systematic Theology paper right now-- trying to anyway. I've been in a lot of school in my life, written a lot of papers. One thing about writing a paper in Seminary, for me, is that I cannot retreat into my brain, putting only my academic self and my pride on the line-- here my whole self, my whole being is on the table. I am invested on all levels in the ideas I am talking about. I guess that means that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing. Still, I sometimes find the whole size of the enterprise crippling. This week is especially difficult because I am trying to write papers and get ready for the Christmas party and grade student finals. Yet despite all the frenetic work, I still enjoy it. Coming to Seminary for me was like falling in love-- it doesn't make everything perfect, actually it makes things harder, but I would never give it up.

"Heretics"

If you've got an hour and an online audio player, listen to episode #304 of the radio show This American Life.

This episode, entitled "Heretics," first broadcast on December 16, 2005. I heard it for the first time last week. (The link leads away from LSTC-land, and all support that implies.)

To paraphrase one of my professors, a heretic isn't someone trying to tear apart the church. A heretic is someone who deeply loves God and is trying to be faithful - but goes a step further.

If nothing else, a heretic has to be brave. Or foolhardy. Could you or I do that for our convictions?

Cool Websites to check out

When you have a chance, you might like to check out some of these awesome websites:

LSTC - of course, but you've probably already done that if you've made it to this blog!
ACTS - learn about the awesome set-up LSTC has with many other seminaries in the area. You can take classes at each of the schools!
Social Work - You can get a dual degree from both LSTC and the University of Chicago (that's what I'm doing!)
Become a ONE Lutheran - a great site that the ELCA has set up to tell you how to get involved
ELCA Ecumenical and Inter-Religious Relations - I intern for this office at the ELCA Churchwide Office. They have tons of resources on their site.

Reminder: Most of these sites I've listed are not run by LSTC, so LSTC is not responsible for their content.

The Life of a First-Year Seminarian

Well, it's November and this is my first time contributing to The Seminarian's Sojourn. Not that I don't think about doing it all the time, but life just got in the way! My name is Becky, and as the title says, it's my first year at LSTC. I am a dual degree student, and if all goes as planned, in 3 years I should have two Masters degrees (Theology and Social Work) and be a consecrated Diaconal Minister!

Graduate studies here at LSTC is all that I expected and more! I am busier than I ever thought possible - but it's such a great kind of "busy." Just think - going to school and taking ALL classes that you actually WANT to take! I don't "have" to read, I "get to"! (most of the time... :) )

Even though life often gets hectic, and it's not always easy - I love the busy-ness that school has brought me - and I love all the new things I'm learning!! I couldn't have made a better decision than this really.

the suit

I'm typically your blue jeans and hoodie type guy. However, last week I broke out the suit 3 times. I had two interviews for Horizon Internships, one Domestic and one International, which I'll find out about in January. http://www.elca.org/liderazgo/english/horizon.html The standard internship process begins next Spring.

My other interview was for my "Endorsement," the second part of the Candidacy Process where my development at Seminary thus far was discussed: http://www.elca.org/candidacy/process2.html I was officially "endorsed," which means I can go on internship.

Now it's time to put away the suit for a while, and let it collect some more dust.

Clapping in Church

I hate clapping in church.

Went home this weekend for Thanksgiving week. At my home congregation today the bell choir did a beautiful song. And they were excellent. At the end, the congregation clapped, applauded. I don't like it because I think it makes the performance of music a perfomance, not a worship. To me, the musicians are not seeking OUR approval, not trying to get us to recognize what a good job they did. We don't clap after sermons even though we often clap after speeches outside of church. So, yes, even though we often clap after musical performances in other arenas, it doesn't mean we have to do so in church. Someone told me that in sign language clapping means praise. I tried to let that idea overwhelm the part of me that is upset about the clapping as applause, but I don't think people who clap in church mean it as anything other than applause.

So I am happy to disagree with others, but I just don't like it.

Why I wear black clergy shirts

This song from Johnny Cash inspired me

"(Wo)man in Black"


(This link leads away from LSTC-land and it does not necessarily reflect the opinions or convictions of the LSTC, the ELCA, or any other powers-that-be.)

All God's Critters...

Gotta place in the choir!

Just because I dig this song - here are the lyrics and MIDI file.

The music is soft so you shouldn't get in trouble at school/work

(This link leads away from LSTC-land and it does not necessarily reflect the opinions or convictions of the LSTC, the ELCA, or any other powers-that-be.)

Who are the poor?

I like to give parties. People who know me well have to have at least attended one of my parties and seen me giving one from the inside. So my roommates are being very good sports because they are helping me throw a party right in the middle of writing papers and studying for finals. So I am having an advent party. And all I can think about during my spare time is getting all the details in order so that when I come back from Thanksgiving things will be in order for the party.

And we have a nice apartment, frankly one of the larger ones on campus, but it is limited in size. And, between the three of us and my roommate from last year who is helping throw the party, there are a great many people that we are friends with. Suddenly, we realized we cannot invite everyone. This is a very sobering thought, almost enough to make us not give the party. In fact, one of my roommates suggested we just not throw the party because we have 150 people on the guest list and have to cut because we can't even afford to have that many people. And because so many of us live in close proximity and because last year we had a 80% turn-out rate, we know we have to cut names. How can we cut out people? We had wanted to invite the people that we don't know very well, the quiet ones, the ones who don't often get invited to the little suppers we have at our house or the game nights that spontaneously come up. Because those people do exist, even here. And we are finding ourselves cutting them because their feelings seem less likely to be hurt than someone who has heard us mention the party already, or someone who lives with someone who has heard us mention the party already, or the spouses of someone who heard us mention the party already. So some people are getting left off and it has nothing to do with their relative worth as people and it is an unfair criteria that we invite the people that are just most like us and happen to be the ones we know and like best.

So should we just give up the idea altogether?

Recently, I had my students at DePaul read "A Modest Proposal" by Jonathan Swift. That's the famous baby-eating satire. At the time the essay was written, British colonialism of Ireland was at its zenith. Swift wrote that the Irish should start selling their babies at one year of age for food for the English landlords. He also suggests tender care of the children for the first year so the "hides" can be used for ladies' gloves. You cannot get a more jarring look at exploitation of people than in that essay. When we were talking about how Swift uses language that equates the babies to animals in the essay, I asked my students if this essay has any application in modern times. And eventually we came to the conclusion, in both classes, that the "bums" or "homeless" in the streets here in Chicago are treated similarly. And the students puzzled about what to do. Some said the government should take care of the problem, but others suggested that this solution was only passing the buck and probably not practical. Others suggested that the bums ought to get jobs, but this elicited critique from others who thought this solution missed the complexity of why people are on the street. Most suggested that they couldn't possibly give money to everyone who asked for it and some pointed out that a few of the "bums" were just trying to buy alcohol or were people trying to rip off easy marks. The final consensus was that there wasn't really a solution posed in Swift's essay, nor could the students discover--in one class period-- a solution to the homeless problem either (which in some ways is a relief because if the solution could be puzzled to that easily, what have we been doing for the last two or three millenia?) But there was a sense that the dehumanizing of the "bums" was bad. A few said that they felt they should at least talk to the people on the street, not ignore them.

And again I ask whether, faced with such incredible unfairness over who gets the benefit of the few coins you do have in your pocket and the perils of not knowing if the particular homeless person you approach will hurt you or put your funds to improper use, whether, faced with these limitations, the whole enterprise ought to be abandoned.

Should we just give up the idea altogether?

I like to put change in the bellringers' buckets at Christmas time. I never put nearly as much change in the buckets as I spend in the store on things like wrapping paper and bows and cards and stocking stuffers, but it makes me FEEL good for doing it. Makes me feel like I was GOOD. And the bell ringer smiles at me. I MUST be good. But despite my inadequate gift, somehow good IS DONE with the bellringers' money.

We talk in seminary about how we are all priveledged here in the U.S. and how we should help the people with less and how we ought to share better and give of ourselves. And it's true. There are a great many things we have that we don't need, don't really even want, can't take care of, distract us from each other and God. The beatitudes, in the Matthew version, talk about the "poor in spirit" and make me think that maybe my definition of "poor" might be too small, especially when thinking about other passages in the Bible and when thinking about the movement in theology to focus on care for the poor. Certainly providing for the economic well-being of all of God's people is not something we humans do well. Never really have. But I wonder if the poor could also be those people who don't get very many invititations to Christmas parties, the overweight woman who never gets asked on a date, the lonely, the ones who feel useless, or even George W. Bush-- who has a lot of responsibility and is being told in no uncertain terms that most people in the WORLD believe he is a collossal failure, stupid, wicked, that the world is a worse place because of his life, and that almost anyone else could have done a better job.

I don't know how to solve the problem of the homeless. I don't know if I should abandon the whole Christmas party concept because I can't invite everyone and only continue to support the social institutions that allow some people be invited to more things than others. The only consesus I can come up with is that at least this Christmas when I actually take those too-few moments to think of the greeting-card sentiments of the season and those less fortunate than me, I will try to think of all of those less fortunate than me-- in all the powerful and horrible ways that people can be poor or poor in spirit-- and try to remember not to dehumanize them.

"High School Never Ends"

There’s a song by Bowling for Soup entitled “High School Never Ends.” (Note: This link navigates away from LSTC. LSTC does not necessarily promote, condone, or agree with the opinons on this page. I’d probably rate it PG-13 for language though, so be forewarned).

The song makes a good point. I once heard someone say that whenever humans gather in a group, it’s tempting to think that we’d rise to a higher level, but instead we tend to sink to a lowest common denominator. That’s true for ministry and it’s true for seminary. But really it’s true for life in general – wherever 2 or 3 are gathered in God’s name, as it may be.

But this isn’t necessarily a bad thing in all aspects. Yes, the self-centeredness and lack of compassion can get to anyone. And yeah, it really stinks trying to figure out where you stand in the social strata and figuring out who you’ll sit next to in the lunchroom. Trying to figure out who you’ll dance with at Prom is also a big concern. But high school (or junior high, or preschool, or seminary, or working in ministry, or life in general) is all about figuring out who you are in relation to God and to the rest of community. High school is so torturous because you have all these visions of yourself and society that you embrace. You have other visions you want to embrace, but just can’t quite grasp. And you have to deal with the visions that other people want you to embrace.

Ultimately, we’re called to work in concert with God and all humanity and all of God’s creation. We’re called to come to a dynamic understanding we can live with. We need to embrace a vision of ourselves and our relationship with God that is strong and firm but doesn’t trod on anyone else. And most importantly, these visions have to be strong enough to bend.

Bending is hard. How many high schoolers have you known that were just so blasted inflexible about something? How many of us in high school were inflexible to the point of ridiculousness or even to the point of being dangerous? What are we inflexible about today? What are the points of rigidity in our beliefs about God, ourselves, and our fellow Children of God the Holy Spirit nudging us on?

So, since “High School Never Ends” our chances to change never end. Yeah, we’re rigid and unbending and closed off to the Holy Spirit in a lot of ways. But apparently God believes in semper reformanda – “always reforming.” We are not perfect. Our church is not perfect. Our seminary (sorry LSTC) is not perfect. But God is moving within us as individuals and us collectively as groups and institutions for the good of the gospel. Thanks be to God!

Discipline

A few months ago my sisters and I discussed the world of Competitive Eating Contests. It is tempting to think that champion eating is a matter of: 1) open mouth and 2) shove in food. However, according to a book I had recently picked up on the subject and a documentary on MTV Real Life that one of my sisters watched there actually is a great amount of systematic thought going into it.

My sister spoke of one champion eater from Japan. Firstly, he’s got some sort of anatomical difference – the internal placement of his stomach in relation to his ribs, I think – that makes it easier for his gullet to expand to hold more food. But beyond this natural gift, he practices, he exercises, he watches tapes of his competitions to analyze his performance so he can improve. To do his job well, in order to utilize his gifts, he needed to attach some order to the process of his job.

So since that conversation, I’ve also thought about the order I add to my process of being a seminarian. By virtue of my baptism, I’m called into service of the Reign of Christ and my fellow members of creation. Also, by virtue of nature and nurture, I’ve got some concrete gifts and skills that I’m called to cultivate for the sake of the gospel. So to help me in my process of being a seminarian, I’ve taken on some disciplines for my life. Some of them are overtly spiritual. Some seem to be less spiritual at first glance but do make a big difference in my faith walk.

I’m committed to going to chapel regularly and reading scripture. I exercise more days a week than not. I try to eat a varied diet (although I’m not joining the competitive eating circuit anytime soon). I’m an introvert so I naturally lean toward cultivating my inner life. But I also make concerted efforts to get out with my friends and family on a regular basis. I pay attention to my checkbook and calendar to help me keep some sort of balance in my life.

And maybe balance is the wrong word. It’s not like as if any of us can strive for some perfect equilibrium. Things are always going crazy in some area of our life. Maybe it’s a matter of trying to aim for overall health in the midst of the craziness. And life is crazy. And seminary is crazy. But, at least for me, a certain amount of discipline helps me touch base with God and community and know that we’ll all make it out okay.

The Second Chance

Last Friday morning I got to see Jeff Obafemi Carr speak on campus. Carr spoke about his acting career, which he joked about his previous roles in films where he had one or two lines, and then would get shot. Now Carr is a co-star in the new movie, "The Second Chance," which is about two pastors whose lives intersect (or collide): Carr plays Jake, an African American pastor who ministers in the streets of the inner-city, and Michael W. Smith plays Ethan, a white pastor who leads music at a suburban mega-church. The movie highlights many crucial issues for the Christian faith such as grace, compassion and solidarity. It also raises issues for the Church, such as racial reconciliation, stewardship, outreach and social justice.

In the beginning of the movie Pastor Jake (Carr) tells the suburban mega-church that he and his inner-city church don't need their money, but rather their time. In our discussion, Carr was asked about the best way for wealthy churches to support struggling churches, and he said "ask them what they need," rather than going in with your own presupositions of the need.

Carr talked about the power of story telling, and how this movie tells a story that can break past people's biases, and move them in a different way. He described Jesus' parables as having this kind of power. Carr believes that this may have opened a window for more movies that can tell stories that move people to think about crucial issues regarding faith and life.

This is certainly a story that needs to keep being told, and is full of issues that need to continue to be engaged, especially by those of us who are future church leaders.